February 28, 2004

Ugghh! I hate being sick! I have been laying around all day and listening to the Good Morning, Athens (formally Lysistrata) soundtrack. Now, I have a section of one of the love songs stuck in my head...

(Borrowed from Lady Like Medea/Fantasy Man by Sean Keogh)

Please I swear, there's nothing there so leave it

If I wanted to be with someone else I would
is that enough, let's call it good
I don't want to talk about Medea

You've lived the life lovers hope for

It was the wrong thing to grope for

That's nothing I can compete with

You're the man that I'm complete with

Why aren't you with a lady like Medea?

Because I'd rather be here with you.

Alright, ok, goddammit! I really hate doing this-
this talking about serious things
Uggh, look I'm usually the guy that shoots his mouth off,
issues orders, and quells the hubbaballoo
But I can't string four words in a simple sentence
when you're around.
Don't laugh, because you know it's true.

I know it's true.

Fantasy man, daydream for a fact
is this love or am I living in fiction?
Phantom consort, nothing I'd subtract
You're everything I ever learned about addition.

Your frame, Your favor, You're wonderful
Your heart, You're perfect.

We're the same same flavor
It's wonderful.

***not the entire song...just the part that has followed me around all day***

posted at 7:12 PM

February 27, 2004

Three Portraits of Painters, by Gertrude Stein. Did you ever read something and have your world changed? Well, or at the very least your day? The Picasso piece turns my life upside down, momentarily, every time I read it.

posted at 11:07 AM

February 26, 2004

Lately, I seem to be the queen of wasting time...it's to the point that I have a lesson due in an hour....and what am I doing? Why, playing here of course! I need help...........................or maybe more sleep..............................or a multitude of things that can't be posted here without changing the rating of my page..... ;)

posted at 6:39 AM

February 25, 2004

Yesterday, I was able to separate myself from everything, just enjoy myself. Due to a combination of things....none of which I have much control over...I don't know where I am today.

The first thing that changed my normal path was/is my mother. I love Lady and would gladly drive over to Cheyenne to do anything for her. But, today, while waiting for her lawyer to show up, I realized something about myself. I have no protection against this woman. I am not saying she is out to hurt me, frustrate me, or anything like that. Just that when I am around her I become the girl I was around 14. No voice, a bundle of nerves, and quick to shy away from my own thoughts and beliefs. I don't know why I do this. As I was leaving today...all I wanted was someone to be waiting for me back home...I need a hug.

The second was a question I was asked a few days ago. How long should I wait? That's it...but I have no answer and that is why it bothers me.

I need to go somewhere...do something...be someone....

Maybe, MandyLand needs one of those "You are Here" signs?

posted at 12:16 PM

February 24, 2004

It is glorious today! The middle of Feb. and I am able, like most people around it seems, to go outside without bundling up at all. Granted, I am still in my sweatshirt and sneakers...but this time they are paired with a skirt! No jeans, no big coat or down vest, and no.....repeat with me.....no hat or mittens!
~Just wait...now that I have said all this outloud, things will change and I will be snowed in tomorrow~

The best part of this day though....is I know I should be stressing about the amount of work I need to get done....but I just can't. Nothing about today is letting me stress even for a moment!

*~*bounce bounce bounce*~*

posted at 2:23 PM

February 23, 2004

Now that MandyLand is actually a real place...in space and time...not just my mind...this is scary! What do I post? Will anyone care? Or am I just finding yet another way to talk to myself?

posted at 10:46 AM

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